Goodbye 2016, I will Never Forget you


typoramaI distinctly remember as a kid having a grown up tell me that time seems to go by much faster the older you get.  I never really thought much of that logic as a youngster. Now that I am older, this is a different story. I even find myself saying this same thing to others.  Take this year.  Where has 2016 gone?

Oh, 2016, it seems you are leaving as quickly as you arrived.  While I am very ready to see you depart so that a brand new year can start, I feel a little misty-eyed to see you leave.  You have been a tough one, you have tried my patience, made me cry, and made me laugh. You have cast a light on things that were once half a shadow. You’ve made me stronger; you brought me greater joy than I would have thought possible.

As I look back over this year, I see many things that I will be taking with me, memories that I will be holding onto for dear life, hoping they never leave. Hopefully, we all have good memories and accomplishments to take with us into the new year, and we are all able to leave behind the negativity that we may have experienced.

One of the things that I have experienced this past year was a new role in life. That of being a first-time mother. While I adore my beautiful baby boy and couldn’t imagine ever not having him, 2016 was not without its challenges. As all of us know and will likely agree (and has been strongly impressed upon me this past year), life is full of unplanned surprises.  By understanding and accepting this, we can start to overthink everything that could come our way. Being that we are imperfect humans, this can be a real struggle for some. I know for myself, I like to have everything planned out to the T! Alas, that is not always possible, and I have learned to roll with the punches of life.

typoramaAt the start of this year, I resolved to cast aside future phobias, and the unnecessary worry about what might be. I decided just to roll with things. Okay yeah sure in January everyone makes their resolutions, and by March-ish I will guarantee that most will have given up on the resolutions, or simply forgotten them. I can speak from personal experience in this area. I am happy to report I did not do that with this resolution.

Being a new mother, I quickly realized I could not afford to fret over the things I can’t control. Am I going to screw him up? Am I going to be too strict, or too lenient as a parent? How will I know what to do, and when to do it?  When you start to think about it, the list is endless! I knew if I were to dwell on these type of questions I would very quickly go crazy. I’m already crazy enough as is, why add to it?? In the end, what is it going to accomplish? Nothing! There I said, and I will say it again. Big fat nothing! Zip, zero, nada!! Worrying about things beyond your control does not add anything to your life, in reality, it only takes away.

In January I chose to cast future phobias aside. I vowed I would not allow them to have any hold on me. This was to encompasses every aspect of my life beyond being a mother. I would not dwell on the things that were out of my control. I would not fret over the small stuff, or put added stress on myself. Life throws enough stress and anxiety at us; we don’t need to help pile on more.

By adjusting my attitude about how I would look at things I felt a sense of inner calm and peace. I was able to enjoy life so much more than had I allowed myself to get into my head. That’s not to say I didn’t think, or say to my husband: Am I going to screw him up? Am I going to be too strict, or too lenient with him? How will I know what to do, and when to do it? I’m sure over the course of the year I said at least one of these if not all of them (and likely more). The point is I did not allow myself to dwell on them. I just took everything one by one and tackled them individually. Once I voiced my concerns, I let them go. They were not in my control, so I was not going to dwell on them any longer. I was determined, and I came out victorious.

This is a resolution that I will take with me every year. I will add this to the top of each list I make from here on out. I will cast aside future phobias, and I will not allow myself to dwell on the negative “What if’s.”  It’s exhausting to think that way! But what if we choose not to do it anymore? What if we choose to just let it go? Sorry did I make the Disney song just pop into your head there?? Whatever is it that is holding you back from peace, what would happen if you just said enough is enough?

In my blog at the start of the year, I referenced what a country song once said:  Life’s a dance, you learn as you go. Sometimes you lead, sometimes you follow. Don’t worry ’bout what you don’t know, life’s a dance; you learn as you go.lifes-a-dance

And that is life! You can’t control everything, and you can’t plan for everything,  sometimes you just have to dance and let things come as they may.

I wish nothing but the best for all of you, and all of the wonderful things that 2017 has in store for you!

 


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8 thoughts on “Goodbye 2016, I will Never Forget you

  • Rosie Russell

    Carmela, I loved your end of the year post! I agree that I too, have struggled with this “future phobia.” issue. (Ask my husband.)
    You are doing a wonderful job!
    I feel so blessed to call you my friend!
    Happy 2017!

    Rosie

  • Cat Michaels

    Carmela, you have had an amazing year with huge life changes becoming a new mom! Little ones have a way of turning plans upside down in the very best ways -:D. I love how you roll with the punches, yet remain steadfast in your passion about writing and literacy.

    • Carmela Dutra Post author

      Thank you Cat, yes things have been turned upside down, sideways, and right side up again. All I can do is roll with it and take things as they come. Nothing can change it no more than you can change the tide of the sea. Thank you for stopping by, hope 2017 is a one for the books!

  • Julie Gorges

    I hear you, sister. I too am an over thinker and born worrier. Thankfully, aging helps immensely with letting go. No worries, you do your best with your son and give him lots of love and it will all work out – take it from me a mom of two and grandma of three. Loved your year end thoughts, thanks for sharing! All the best in 2017!

  • Dottie Hardin

    Hi, Carmy — I really enjoyed your most recent blog post. Life is indeed a dance, and you are twirling beautifully with your baby boy and successfully with your books. May you and your family have a Merry Christmas and a wonderful 2017! — Love, Dottie